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By Nalubega Victoria

A simple “yes” can carry meanings that are invisible to the person hearing it. Sometimes it expresses genuine willingness. At other times, it may emerge from fear, dependence, pressure or the need to survive. In Every Yes From a Girl Is Not a Yes, Nalubega Victoria reflects on what she was taught about saying “no” as a girl and how adulthood complicated that lesson. Through uncomfortable examples involving relationships, employment, older men and family authority, the poem asks us to look beyond the word itself and consider the circumstances in which a girl says yes.

Long ago, as I was growing up,

my teachers used to say
that many girls
don’t have a NO
in their mouths.

No is a two-letter word,

but its impact
owns a seat
on the global Earth.

When I became a teenager,

my mother said
that a girl without a NO
is worthless.

My ears heard,

but my mind filtered.

To be frank,
I also followed the genre
of having a NO
in my mouth.

Saying no
became part of me.

I even feared every man,

just as I wanted
to keep my worth
as a girl.

No.
No.
No.

I have grown up
to realise

that a NO is not good,

and at the same time,
not bad.

If I say YES,

I really don’t mean it,

though I nearly mean it.

YES was once rejected
by the parents,

but it has been embraced
by girls.

When I say YES
to my longtime boyfriend,

I don’t mean it

because I don’t want
the friendship to end

because of mere feelings
that have developed towards me.

YES to old men
is not an intimate yes.

But YES to them
pays bills.

YES to the employer

simply wins
a job opportunity,

as well as a promotion
which lightens
the daily stay.

YES to my foster father

brings curses,

but my future brightens up
as he pays my dues

privately.

However,

some YESES

bind us
into trouble.

— Nalubega Victoria

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