By Juma Clever Collins

Is falling in love an act of courage or an investment made without sufficient evidence? In “The Romantic Heretic,” Juma Clever Collins humorously challenges romantic expectations, questioning the promises of forever, the reliability of affection and the emotional risks of commitment. Through sharp satire and business metaphors, the poem explores love, scepticism and the demand for proof before surrendering one’s heart.

I hereby declare myself an intellectual fugitive from the kingdom of romance.

I refuse to kneel before the dictatorship of butterflies, the tyranny of heartbeats, and the emotional propaganda called falling in love.

Romance, in my highly controversial opinion, is a beautifully decorated contract written in invisible ink and signed by people who conveniently forget the terms.

Why should I surrender my sanity to a chemical disturbance called affection?

Why should two grown humans stare at each other passionately as if they have discovered a new continent, when they have merely discovered someone who replies quickly to messages?

I am not anti-love.

I am simply an investor demanding evidence before purchasing emotional shares.

Bring me clauses, conditions, and guarantees.

Bring me loyalty documented, respect certified, and commitment legally stamped.

Because this business of forever sounds suspiciously like a lifetime subscription with no customer care department.

Call me heartless.

Call me a romantic criminal.

But I shall remain the chairman of the Society Against Unverified Butterflies.

Until romance presents its credentials,

I shall remain happily unconvinced.