By Dr. Ivan Edwards

Chapter 1 — Amara’s Monologue

My heart bleeds.
Worry has besieged me.
Fear surrounds me.
Sleep has escaped me,
and food and drink
have become strangers
to my mouth.

The truth is simple,
yet it torments me:

I love him.

I love Daniel Asaba,
an ordinary man with nothing
…material blessing, none.
…family privilege, unheard of.

Unlike me,
he has no aristocratic name
to shield him from the world.

He has nothing to offer me
except his heart…

and somehow,
that is the very thing
my soul cannot resist.

But my privilege,
my wealth,
my family,
my clan,
my customs
will not accept him.

He is from a different people.
He carries no established aristocracy.
He has no university education.
He struggles.

He just has a name…

Asaba.

And even so,
I love him with all my heart.

What can I do?

I am a tall woman,
yet I feel small.
I am confused.
I am tormented.

My parents do not like him.
They say loving him is beneath me
and beneath them.

They say I am throwing away
generations of honour
for a man who owns nothing
but sincerity.

I feel cornered.

And then there is him…

Koru.

The man my parents prefer.

A man steeped in pride,
asking for my hand in marriage
as if it were a trophy.

A man raised by aristocrats,
followed by servants,
carried by privilege.

He needed them to walk
before he learned to stand.

He likes favours done for him.
He can hardly wipe his own face.

I despise that.

And more…

I despise that he does not know
the value of work.

He has had everything handed to him.

And yet he is the one
my family wants.

So what should I do?
Where do I go?
Who do I turn to?

Where are my aunties
when I need them?

Where are my uncles?

My sister…

…maybe she will help me
navigate this chaos.

…Wait.

I hear steps.

The footsteps grow louder. Two figures enter. A couple and a train of servants.

Mummy and Daddy, greetings.

Mother speaks.

Authority flows.

“Amara, you look sad… and depressed.
What is happening to you, my child?”

“Nothing, Mother. Just deep in thought.
A woman lost in reflection,
watching time unravel.”

Father speaks.

Power unveils.

“That is what fathers are for.
I am here when you need me,
my beloved daughter.”

Amara forces a smile.

“Just thinking simple thoughts
that sound deep
but have no relevance… no bearing…

because the heart
is absent from them.

I’m fine, Daddy.
All is well.

For now.”

My mother, never one to let silence linger,
chimes in with her usual authority.

“Don’t forget. In a few days,
we will be going to the event
Koru invited us to.

It is a big event.

There will be royals from different lines,
all gathered to celebrate
the crowning of the next king.

You must be there.

Koru will be there as well…

and maybe you will get
to know him better
before you get married.”

I shrug my shoulders,
feeling the weight of expectations
settle on me
like Kigezi’s morning mist.

“The Lord’s will be done.
I will remember.”

Parents and the train of servants exit.

What should I do?

Who should I go to?

The wound
and the bleeding
now run deeper!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR