By Dr Ivan Edwards

Am I not a man?
Do I need to have a name
with the aristocrats to deserve love?
Do I need millions of shillings
in Standard Bank to love a woman
my heart chooses?

Am I not a man?
Do I need a Makerere degree
to open my heart for love?
Do I need a Mercedes to court
a woman of my dreams?

Am I not a man?
Though with humble beginnings,
I humbly admit… a life born in struggles,
and unfulfilled dreams.
A life of hardness
and zero opportunities.

Am I not a man?
Who now has dreams
to break the limits
society and destiny
bore me in.

From an Uber driver,
here, in Kampala,
I will become better.
Watch me!
Maybe even own a fleet.

Though… many laugh
at my aspirations,
calling me a dreamer.

But I dream
because I must.

The world
has given me nothing.
All I started with
was courage
to take risks in life.

But enough of that.

New worries
have arrived on my doorstep…
they steal my joy.

And…

sleep has divorced me.

Whenever I try closing my eyes,
her face awakes me.

Amara…

carved from God’s grace,
born into a world
that resists mine.

Her world is not mine.

So what?

I don’t care!

But, I know me.

I have neither wealth,
nor privilege.

Just a name—Daniel Asaba,
a name that is without weight.

Yet she looks at me
as if I am something… somebody,
as if I matter.

…as if the dust on my shoes
and the sweat on my brow
do not offend her world.

Something is bad.

I do not understand it.
But I feel it.

And it terrifies me.

Because… loving her
is like loving the sun.

You can admire it,
reach for it,
dream of it…

but if you get too close,
you get burnt.

I have tried to stay away.
I have tried to silence my passion.

But every time she speaks,
every time she laughs,
every time she looks at me
with those eyes that see too much,

I fall deeper,
the hook digs into me more.

And now…

now I fear the consequences.

Her people do not want me.
Her parents despise me.
Her clan sees me
as a stain on their honour.

Her world shouts my name
like a warning cry.

Stay away from him,
stay away from him!

I have heard the rumors.
I have felt the tension.
I have seen the stares.

Recently, I have seen a black car
that follows me at night,
with evil men in it,
watching me
like hungry hyenas.

I know what it means,
what they are capable of.

I know what happens
to men who reach
for what is forbidden.

Still…

I cannot let her go.

A memory replays itself…

when she was in my car
that night…

the rain was falling
like tears of penance.

She was quiet,
listening to the angels.

When she spoke about us,
her voice was scared.
Almost defeated.

And when she looked at me,
I felt sorry for us.

We were being denied
to love each other.

I was bitter…

the first time I felt
like that.

Since then,
my heart has not known peace.

And that bothers us both
a lot.

But with her,
it is worse than I thought before.

I feel it.
I sense it.

Her silence has grown heavier.
She speaks less,
hiding pain
behind every word.

And tonight…

I could not bear it.

No more.

So, I walked to her home,
past the gates
and the guards.

Unafraid.

Determined.

I wanted to see her.

Now.

Nothing was stopping me.

To be continued…