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By Davis Ndyomugabe of Qachecks
What happens when a great night out leaves behind a morning you would rather forget? In Teetotaler, Davis Ndyomugabe of Qachecks uses humour, irony and an unexpected final revelation to explore drinking, memory and the embarrassing consequences of overindulgence.
He had enjoyed his evening time.
It had been a great night.
Self-driven, he had arrived home
Safely, his car had been parked.
His gonads full, they had sought relief,
So he opened the door to ease his grief.
Instantly, darkness had been admonished
When twinkling lights flashed on.
He peed time after time,
At diverse moments, repeatedly!
At dawn, he woke up to go to work,
Bathed, dressed and demure.
His lost rib served him breakfast.
Thankfully, he repaid her
With a melting grin,
As ridges of happiness
Danced on his lips.
He lisped ecstatically,
“Love!
We had a great time.
It was the happiest time of my life!”
To which his wife,
Her eyes wet with tears,
Replied with a peeping tone of disgust:
“If you don’t stop drinking,
You will walk naked on Kampala Road!”
All night long,
He had been peeing in the fridge!
— Davis Ndyomugabe of Qachecks
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