By Vicky Nalubega

Grief can change the way we understand family, love and even ourselves. Sometimes, the hardest experiences also become our greatest teachers.

In Born to Face Fate, Vicky Nalubega reflects on the loss of her father and the lessons that followed. First, she imagines how her parents met and wonders about the circumstances that eventually led to her own life. However, her thoughts soon turn towards loss, family and survival.

Through grief, she learns about trust, silence, love and independence. Above all, the poem shows how pain can become a classroom. Although loss leaves scars, it can also teach us how to stand again.

I sit down

And imagine how my mother and father met.

I imagine the day.

The weather.

The sky.

The way they looked at each other,

And I wonder how their instincts

Communicated.

Did something inside them whisper,

“This is the one”?

I don’t regret,

But I regret.

I don’t blame them,

But I blame nature.

I don’t blame God,

But I blame myself.

And then—

I remember.

I didn’t choose the family I was born into.

But losing my father

Became the greatest lesson

Life ever gave me.

I’ve learned.

I’ve learned that not every handshake is honest.

I’ve learned

That blood can make you related

Without making you family.

I have learned.

I’ve learned to walk

Without a walking stick.

I have learned to speak…

When speaking is necessary.

I have learned to be silent…

When silence is the only way out.

I have learned to love,

Even when my face didn’t know

How to mean it.

I have learned to survive

Without announcing

That I am surviving.

And maybe that is what grief has done.

It has not only left scars,

But it has also been a teacher.

My father’s absence

Has become a classroom.

My loneliness

Has become a lesson.

My pain, a language.

And every time I fell,

Life whispered,

“Get up.”

So I got up…

And I learned.

I learned.

I have learned.

— Vicky Nalubega