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By Elvis Faki
Why do heroes in action movies always remember their training at exactly the right moment, while villains apparently forget everything they have ever learned? In this hilarious reflection on action movie clichés, Elvis Faki questions one of cinema’s most convenient traditions: the hero can be beaten almost senseless, remember one lesson from a master and suddenly win the fight. For Faki, that simply isn’t equality.
I LOVE action movies, but I HATE that they’re always UNFAIR to the bad guys.
You see, whenever fights break out, the good guys are the only ones who remember their training.
Yesterday, I was watching Drunken Master by Jackie Chan. The bad guy beat Jackie Chan seriously. Jackie Chan fell down, and they began showing us his master telling him:
“When they beat you here, remember the eagle’s crow.”
Then he got up.
Now, the bad thing is—the good guys remember. But when the bad guys are being beaten, how come they do not remember their training?
The other day, I was watching The Karate Kid. The bad kid beat the good kid. The good kid fell down and began remembering.
He remembered.
He remembered.
Then he got up and did just like this.
Then he kicked the bad kid.
The bad kid also fell down…
And he remembered nothing!
That thing pained me because I am all for equality.
Yes!
For me, I want, in a movie, right after the film star has remembered his training, I want them to also show us the bad guy remembering.
Because the strongest has to win.
You can’t just win on memory, even if you’ve two telebite of random access memory!
If you’re good at fighting, you’ll win.
But those things of saying:
“Aaya, film star taffa!”
The film star doesn’t die.
No.
Let him die.
— Elvis Faki
Elvis Faki’s surname is a punchline. If you don’t agree, Faki you!
His rant is comedy exemplified—but why?
Let’s break it down.
Tropes and Story Elements
Firstly, what’s a trope?
Denotatively, a trope is a recurring theme, convention or storytelling device used in literature, art and media.
Connotatively, it’s a Fakin’ shame you didn’t know what it was.
But that aside, let’s dive into the story elements without giving a Faki.
Plot Armor
This is the ultimate reason behind this Fakin’ frustration.
Plot armor is when a main character seems unable to die or lose because the story needs them to survive.
Faki—excuse my Chinese—directly calls this out at the end with the Luganda saying:
“Aaya, film star taffa!”
In other words: the film star doesn’t die.
The Flashback Training Montage
This is the specific movie pattern Faki is talking about.
The hero is Fakin’ losing. Suddenly, he remembers his old teacher giving him some cryptic advice:
“Remember the eagle’s crow.”
Then, somehow, the memory changes everything.
The hero gets up and wins.
Meanwhile, apparently, nobody gave the villain memories.
Deus Ex Machina
Deus ex machina is a Latin phrase meaning “god from the machine.” In storytelling, it describes a seemingly impossible problem being suddenly resolved by an unexpected intervention.
In Faki’s complaint, the hero’s conveniently timed memory functions almost like a magical solution to the fight.
Well, Faki that, MotherFaki!
Figurative Language and Wordplay
Hyperbole (Exaggeration): Faki—excuse my Lusoga this time—uses extreme exaggeration to make his MotherFakin’ point funnier.
One example is the claim that the hero wins even with “two telebite of random access memory.”
Malapropism / Neologism: Faki uses “telebite” instead of “terabyte.” Intentional or not, the misuse of a technical term adds to the casual comedy of the rant.
Anaphora (Repetition): Also known as revisable raincoats. Something Faki, with this tropical weather, has never worn. Until now.
He says:
“He remembered. He remembered.”
The repetition exaggerates the dramatic nature of movie flashbacks and makes the scene funnier.
Tone and Structure
Juxtaposition (Contrast): Fakin’ hell!
The joke repeatedly places opposite situations beside each other. The hero falls and remembers his training. The villain falls and remembers absolutely nothing.
That imbalance becomes the joke.
Satirical Tone: Faki uses humour and irony—even though he’s unemployed himself—to mock familiar conventions in action movies.
Instead of accepting that the hero must eventually win, he asks a ridiculous but strangely reasonable question:
Why can’t the villain remember his training too?
And with that…
Elvis has left the building!
Yeah, Faki you too!
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