By Patricia Kihunde

We are living in unprecedented times. More than ever before, we have access to an endless amount of information from all over the world about places and people we have never even been or met, at just a click away. It is no wonder that anxiety and burnout are at an all time high. We are with, every swipe of our screens, exposed to the opinions and lifestyle of other people. That constant exposure to the meticulously curated highlights of other people’s lives on social has sold the illusion that we need to constantly chase after one socially celebrated achievement after another in order to ascend to the point where we will be happy.

We have come to misunderstand happiness as a destination to arrive at. If that definition of happiness is what you live your life by, it will always elude you. Happiness built off of socially validated achievements is slippery. The goal post is always shifting. There is no point in time when you will receive enough external validation that gives you the green light to stop chasing after more and start to feel content with the life that is actually yours in the present moment. That call, to pause and slow down is coming from within.It is the exhaustion that lingers even after you have had a full night’s sleep. It is the underwhelming feeling that casts a shadow over your expectation to feel happy after you have finally achieved the goals you set out to attain.

The false sense of urgency is what social media and capitalism have used to hold us hostage in our own lives. You hold the power to take back control over your energy.  Slowing down in the fast world that we live in is a revolutionary act for your mental wellbeing and individuality.

Who is in the driving seat of your life?

A lot of people build their lives on the foundation of other peoples’ expectations of them. Sadly many people do not stop long enough to realise until later in their lives, that they have been living on autopilot following someone else’s blue print of what their lives should look like. What external beliefs have you internalized? Pause and ask yourself what it is you really want out of life. Find your “why” behind the things that you do. Define your values. Dare to detach from the blueprint society has drawn up and follow an authentic path. The person who will have to face the consequences of every decision made about your life is yourself. You might as well ground yourself in the knowledge of what you want for yourself before you look to anyone else for direction.. Some times when you are moving full speed ahead, it is because you are following a road map someone else laid out.  The path to an authentic life is rarely linear which can make it feel slower. That is because it is uniquely yours and does not fit any other person’s time line. When you find yourself comparing where you are in lifein relation  to everybody else, remember that, there is nothing to rush to. You are right where you should be –on your own  timeline.

Boredom is an opportunity for creativity.

When was the last time you let yourself just be without the impulse to fill every silence. We have trained our brains to depend on constant stimulation that we feel uncomfortable sitting with ourselves without distraction. We think that we need to spend every waking moment occupied with a quantifiable task. Ironically, in doing this we miss out on opportunities for new windows of inspiration and ideas to open up to us in the silence. Stop trying to reach for something to distract you every time you are bored. Suspend the need to always be doing at all times and allow yourself to just be. The rat race keeps a person ruminating over the same issues and running into the walls of the same perspective. Boredom is in fact a chance to break familiar patterns of thought, perspectives and actions that would otherwise keep us stuck in the familiar. Boredom invites creativity in and allows us to re-imagine life and look at it through a different perspective.

Interrogate things beyond surface level.

The algorithm feeds us one brief entertaining piece of information after the other. There is access to plenty of information bits and yet ironically the more information we are bombarded with, the fewer the pauses we take to dig deeper and read between the lines.         We form opinions constantly and move on to the next trending topic. If something sparks your interrogate it further, read about it, learn about it and have conversations about it with other curious minds with diverse perspectives. That is how we are can take back autonomy over our minds and nurture our own well informed opinions rather than subconsciously absorbing the narratives that we are presented with.

Make self-care a non-negotiable.

Self care is not a luxury. In fact, the relationship you build with yourself (or lack thereof) colours every other area of your life. In a time where line between our individual selves and the rest of the world is getting blurrier, allowing yourself time to retreat to your inner world is crucial to aligning with your authenticity and grounding your energy. Unfortunately, we have been taught ro perceive a full schedule as a measure of our worth. We are not praised for taking time for self care. For people of colour, the lie that we need to always productive in order to be worthy and secure runs deep. The systems we have been subjected to, as a legacy of slavery and colonialism applaud us when we are working hard and frowns upon rest as laziness. The black body has thus become a laborious and exhausted body. It feels counterintuitive to think that making time for rest and self care is in service to our well being and yet it is the very foundation on which our well being thrives. When was the last time you did something just for you? Explore that. Find your way back to the hobbies you enjoyed as a child. Find out what makes time stop and allows you to come back to yourself.